An Influencer (Fiction)

Based on this Twitter thread.

An influencer with a very relatable brand. She only posts memes you find funny. She eats the same sort of food you do. Her eyes look just like yours, she takes selfies just like you, in the same lighting, in the same way. She’s so pretty, and when you look at her pictures you feel pretty too.

An influencer with a very relatable brand. She’s dating a new girl, and you swear you've seen that girl before. She looks so beautiful, and the two of them seem perfect together. But they still bicker sometimes, so you know they're relatable.

An influencer with a very relatable brand. She posted about her favorite restaurant. you used to go there all the time before Covid. There she is (wearing a mask, of course), on a socially distanced date with that girl again. So relatable.

An influencer with a very relatable brand. You've both been going through mental health stuff. You can’t blame her — 2020 has been a hard year. She's coy about it online, but you can spot all the signs — she’s got anxiety, just like you. Or maybe it’s depression. Or trauma. Doctors aren’t really a help these days.

An influencer with a very relatable brand. You notice a girl you were seeing back in February is following her. The two of you went on a couple dates but it never went anywhere. You realize she unfollowed you, but you don’t know when. Awkward.

An influencer with a very relatable brand. You thought you saw her in your neighborhood recently, posing next to a tourist trap. No no, just a trick of the light … and besides, you shouldn't bother her. you know everything you feel is just parasocial. You’re just another fan to her.

An influencer with a very relatable brand. It’s 3am and you're scrolling through Instagram, staring at the blue light. You feel something cold touch your skin, and in a panic you drop your phone. There’s nothing around you, but you check her Instagram stories anyway. She updated her story, but when you check the blue circle is gone.

An influencer with a very relatable brand. She’s been trying out some new hobbies, and if she likes them — hell, you’ll probably like them too. Working out, knitting, exploring the basement underneath her house. Cmon, try them!

An influencer with a very relatable brand. She's been posting a step by step walkthrough of how to open the basement door and go into the basement and it’s incredible how the lock has the exact same combination as your own lock. She's so relatable.

An influencer with a very relatable brand. The basement is damp, and cold. No one will check on you — its the pandemic, it'll be months before anyone notices you're even gone. And there she is, with her eyes just like yours and your blood against her lips.

An influencer with a very relatable brand. She eats all the same food you do, laughs at all your friend’s jokes the way you never could. But when she smiles … everyone can tell she's just performing. It’s all part of the brand.